Let's talk pronouns
What Are Pronouns?
Pronouns are the words someone would like you to use when talking to and about them. We all have pronouns. The most common ones are 'he/him/his' or 'she/her/hers'. People who fall under trans or non-binary gender identities may prefer to use gender neutral pronouns like 'they/them/theirs'.
Some people may not feel comfortable with any pronouns and that's okay, in this case the individual may prefer you to use their name.
What Are Neopronouns?
Neopronouns are a category of new (neo) pronouns that are increasingly used in place of 'she' 'he' or 'they' when referring to a person. Some examples include: xe/xem/xyr and ze/zir/zirs. Neopronouns can be used by anyone, though most often they are used by transgender, non-binary and/or gender nonconforming people.
Don’t panic over pronunciation - While there are common ways to pronounce these pronouns, there are many variations, so it is best to ask. If someone trusts you enough to share their pronouns with you, you should feel comfortable asking for clarification if you need it. For example, “Hey there, Taylor, I noticed the pronoun “x-e” on your badge and I want to make sure I am pronouncing that right. Can you tell me how you pronounce it?”. You also might find yourself in a situation where you hear a pronoun you aren’t familiar with and don’t know how to use. Try this: “Taylor, I heard you say you use “ze/zir” pronouns and I want to make sure I’m using them correctly. Can you help me?”.
My Kid is Gay is a great blog/website that has a post called 'Defining: Neopronouns'. In this post the writer explains how to pronounce some Neopronouns.
How Do You Use Personal Pronouns?
Let's look at some examples of where and when you would use someone pronouns.
She/Her/Hers:
"She is a writer and wrote that book herself. Those ideas are hers. I like both her and her ideas"
He/Him/His:
"He is a writer and wrote that book himself. Those ideas are his. I like both him and his ideas"
They/Them/Theirs:
"They are a writer and wrote that book themselves. Those ideas are theirs. I like both them and their ideas"
Xe/Xem/Xyr:
"Xe is a writer and wrote that book xemself. Those ideas are xyrs. I like both xe and xyr ideas"
Ze/Zir/Zirs:
"Ze is a writer and wrote that book zirself. Those ideas are zirs. I like both ze and zir ideas"
No Pronouns - Use My Name:
"Eli is a writer and wrote that book. Those are Eli's ideas. I like both Eli and Eli's ideas"
Practice with Pronouns is a website that helps make sure you are using pronouns in the correct way!
What If Someone Uses Multiple Pronouns?
You might meet people who use more than one set of pronouns, for example: They/She, He/They, Ze/They. If you see multiple sets of pronouns for someone make sure you use BOTH.
Some examples of using multiple pronouns could be:
They/He
"Sam works here, they're a bookseller. He's been working here for 2 years now. They're a great addition to our team"
Xe/They
"Xe works here! They're just over by the books"
Don't use both sets together in a sentence like this "They/He works here"
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